Eighteen

This morning, on the drive to work, I saw him. He crossed the road, right in front of my car.

How is it that I don’t see him for 3 months and then in the space of a few days, I see him twice?!

It made me so mad, seeing him carrying on with his life, so carefree, while I’m here trying to untangle myself from the rejection and hurt and betrayal. He should be carrying this, not me.

Anyway, I made an angry Spotify playlist and have been listening to it on repeat. It’s very helpful.

I have two dates coming up – one tomorrow and one the following day. After I realised I didn’t want him anymore, I went back onto Bumble and here we are. I don’t feel the same excitement for these guys as I did for him but I guess it won’t always start the same way, and maybe this is a good thing? I was so excited about him, but that’s because he was so fucking charming, and I’m starting to realise that that’s not always a good thing. The charm – that’s how they get you. Maybe less charm this time will be good.

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