What is it about pain that makes us push away people who love us?

I’ve been keeping my family and my church at a distance because I don’t want them to see my pain. Now I think I’ve been doing the same with God too.

There’s just something so vulnerable about people who love you, seeing you in pain. You can’t hide your true feelings from people who know you. I don’t want them to worry for me, or try to fix me, or be pained seeing me in pain you know?

Why do I self-sabotage when I’m in the most need?

I need all that love, to fill the parts that were ripped out.