I’ve been thinking a lot about the way that dating should be – should it be all fire from the beginning? Or should it be a slower burn?

With J it was all sparks and fireworks from the get go. Because of this, I keep being underwhelmed by these dates I’ve been going on recently. They just don’t compare.

But maybe it’s okay to have a slower burn, maybe sometimes it just takes a bit longer to get to that level of familiarity and comfort. Maybe a slower burn will last.

At the same time, chemistry is so important to me in a relationship and if it’s not there from the beginning, I’m doubtful as to whether it will ever come. Ugh I don’t know. I don’t know if it’s that there’s no chemistry or if it’s that I’m not interested in anyone who’s not him. No. I don’t want to be with him anymore. I have to keep reminding myself of that. There will be someone else, we will set each other on fire, and we will be better matched than I was with him.