Even though the past month has been really really good, there are still times when I think about how easy it was with him – that instant connection and surety of those feelings. Tonight is one of those times, and I miss him.

I miss the him that I knew when we were together, before all the heartbreak and hurt and pain. I miss having endless conversations that feed off each other like gas to fire. I miss the excitement and anticipation of knowing that I’ll see him at some point in the day.

I know that I’ll have that again, with someone who will stay. But that would also be a lot more convincing if I was already there, with someone else, rather than now where I can only cast my hopes for something like that in the future.