I held hands with a boy today 🙂
It was O, the one I mentioned in an earlier post. We went for a walk after having lunch together and ended up on the roof of a boat shed by the water. Lying side by side, we talked about our childhoods and the cheeky antics we got up to, the books we were reading, anything really.
There’s something exciting about all those firsts with someone – the first reach of the hand, interlocking fingers and later, the first kiss, the first sleepover. Every time I revisit the memory of us lying there, him tentatively taking my hand into his, I feel that flutter of the heart, and it probably won’t be long before these feelings take flight.
It’s moving a lot slower this time than it did with J and, honestly, I’m enjoying it. With J everything followed in such quick succession that I was swept up in the hurricane of it all but with O, I have the time to relish in each newness. I get to enjoy just holding hands for now, and soaking in this moment of having a crush on a boy. I feel like the slower pace is good for building a better foundation.
I don’t know where this will go, but I’m excited to find out. I’m excited to be excited about someone else. When I first started this blog, I was so heartbroken and devastated by loss that a day like today seemed totally unattainable. But here I am 🙂