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THREE SIX FIVE

This is it. I made it. 365 posts.

I set out wanting to make space to write everyday, with no pressure on content or length. And I’ve achieved it. Here I am, 365 posts later. Some are short and mundane, others are longer and more vulnerable. There’s gotta be room for both, and I’m glad that there is.

Still, can’t quite believe it. I’m quite stoked with myself, having maintained this habit for a full year, across countries and continents, inebriated and sober, I was committed to this blog and I saw it through.

What started as a response to a lot of pain, has morphed into this thing that has followed me through a year’s worth of joy and disappointment, insights and confrontations.

Anyway, I’m tired (because I had a lot of sex last night and only got 4 hours of sleep) and I’m going to go to bed now.

Until next time. Thank you for reading.

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Ninety

Three months. Three measly months. Sounds like such a short amount of time but it’s been three months since I started this blog. Ninety days since crying publicly in a cafe and wondering how life could be so cruel, wondering if my heart would ever heal.

It has.

I remember writing in an earlier post about how it felt like the gaps between the broken pieces of my heart were filling from the inside out. That’s still how it feels. The broken pieces are still there, and I’m still really connected to the memory of that time when the sadness was crippling, but I feel more held together now, less disjointed by the pain.

I had another counselling session yesterday and afterwards when I was reflecting on our conversation, I realised that I was getting excited about the future again. There was a long time when the future didn’t feel like a friend and I couldn’t imagine or hope for anything beyond numbness. And now, without me realising, hope has snuck up on me and presented a future that I can be friends with again. Isn’t that just amazing?

It wasn’t until I realised this that I also saw how far I had come. Three months is a short amount of time but it’s also been a very long journey. Only in hindsight can I see how far I’ve travelled. This life thing is crazy!

Some introductions

Kia ora, and welcome to my blog!

Over the next 365 days, you’ll read thoughts and musings of my mind. It’s nothing fancy, the posts will sometimes be long, sometimes be short, but will always be honest. I’m a 27 year old girl, born in China, raised in New Zealand. My ordinary week consists of working as an accountant and studying as an English Lit student and hanging out with my friends, family and flatmates.

I’m currently writing this in a cafe where I just spent the last hour crying to one of my best friends because, along with those other facts about my life above, I’m also in the middle of recovering from heartbreak. She thought it would be a good idea for me to have a wee project to keep my mind off things. So here we are.

I am passionate about words and I’m excited for this journey ahead and what the next year will reveal!

Thanks for coming along for the ride 🙂

S x