One Seven Four

Today is International Women’s Day. I wish that it was a day where we could just purely celebrate the wonderful wāhine in our lives, instead of having to justify its existence. Every year I have the same conversation with a different person about what IWD is and why it’s important. I’m thinking that maybe I should just write up a list of FAQs, print them on cards and hand them out.

Wouldn’t that be lovely? To just say to someone – “Let me stop you right there, I think I know where this conversation is going, this will help you understand.”

Why is there no International Men’s Day?

There is – it’s in November. Also, pretty much every day in human history has been a big fat international men’s day.

Why are we still fighting for women’s rights? They can vote now.

Reducing rights to voting rights is like giving a crumb to a starving person and asking them why they’re not full afterwards. There is so much more to equal rights than just being able to vote.

Why the word “feminism”? It’s too close to “female”.

Grow the fuck up. If you’re going to argue semantics for why you don’t call yourself a feminist then you should ask yourself if your stance has much substance. The word “feminism” is defined as the doctrine that advocates for women to have the same rights as men. If you believe that, then you’re a feminist. That’s how words work.

It’s hard to stay patient when you have to repeat yourself year after year and yet there are still more people who come with the same questions? I really really hope that there will be a day when I don’t have to have these conversations anymore, that we will finally be able to move forward and embrace and champion diversity in our communities and equity for all.

One Seven Two

Tonight I went to a Sofar Sounds gig with O. It was really lovely.

The last time I went to a Sofar Sounds gig was with J, and I did find myself thinking about then, and how it is now. I’m okay with that, and I think it’s probably natural to do so – natural to have experiences and think on past similar experiences. I was a little anxious about tonight, knowing how in love I was the last time, and how that made the evening that much more special, being able to enjoy it with someone you really care about and who really cares about you.

I guess in a way, the same could be said of tonight. I am extremely fond of O, even if the feelings aren’t as obvious or showy as they were with J, I think there is a great depth of feeling that I could have for him and each day draws me deeper and deeper into those.

Maybe that’s why I felt a peace about tonight that I didn’t expect to feel. I thought this evening, being back in a similar space, would trigger me to lament over that past relationship but instead, it made me feel more at peace with my current relationship. I keep worrying that the feelings and the passion with O doesn’t match what I had with J, and thinking that this must mean it’s less than, or that something’s missing. But it doesn’t.

I’m learning slowly that love and like take different forms – sometimes it’s hard and heavy, other times slower and softer. Neither bad, just different. Tonight was still special, made all the more so by being able to share it with someone who I really care about, and who really cares about me.

One Seven One

Watching Brooklyn- life was hard as an immigrant back in the early 20th century. I can’t imagine leaving my family, not knowing when I’ll be able to return or if I’ll be able to return. I can’t imagine having to wait weeks for correspondence from family, not being able to easily call them or see their face on a screen. It’s insane the luxury we live with now, the convenience of connection. We should cherish this.