The more I read this essay, the less sense it’s making to me.
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Tonight I planned to read over my essay and touch it up before submitting it, as well as finishing David Copperfield. So far I have done none of those things.
But it’s okay – it’s more important to be spending time with friends who are going away for a while, than to be writing essays and studying for tests. Doesn’t make me feel less stressed about it though!
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It doesn’t matter how long I’ve been friends with someone, there will still be times when I feel insecure about my relationship with them and wonder if they like me, or if they like other friends more. Why do I do that? Why do I always have to consider myself on a scale of some sort?
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Roller skating is fuuunnn
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Saw The Public tonight and now I’m thinking about all the homeless people who are sleeping on the streets tonight. I wish that… gah I don’t know what I wish for.
It makes me sad and exhausted at the same time, thinking about all these social problems which exist in the world. I want there to be an instantaneous solution to them all but I also know that the instant fix doesn’t exist.
It’s easy to want an answer, a simple idea that will feed people and home people and give sick people the help they need, but I think we (I) want that because then the ‘problem’ will go away. Having an answer just prevents us (me) from confronting the root of the issue which is.. us as human beings and how we relate to one another.
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O’s come down with a bad cold this week. Two of my flatmates have been hit with something bad too. Hopefully it’s not making its rounds.. I don’t want to get sick. Illness always reminds me of our mortality. In your twenties, you think you’re invincible because if you’re lucky, you’ve been sick but never experienced it to the extent of near death. But when your body succumbs to bugs and bacteria, you’re shaken from that bullet-proof illusion and remember again that at the end of the day, we’re still products of biology.
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Whhhyyy is it always so haarrrrdd to start essaaayyyysss
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David Copperfield isn’t as difficult a read as I thought it would be. I always imagined (imagined because I never actually tested it out) that Dickens would be a hard read but I’m finding myself enjoy it and there are bits which make me laugh out loud. I’m delightfully surprised.
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Scary and exhilarating posting my first blog post for my climate change literature class today. More exhilarating though.. it feels good having my words out there and knowing that people will read it.
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It’s been one of those soul satisfying weekends this weekend. Saw two brilliant films as part of the New Zealand International Film Festival – Animals and The Farewell (strong casts and beautiful cinematography) and also consumed delicious food and drinks.
I’m really thankful for K tonight. We had some incredibly searching and deep and honest conversations over dinner and drinks tonight – about living in our twenties with all the baggage we internalise and how to live well through it all. She’s one of those people who will not shy away from genuine relationships and who continuously seeks and gives herself honestly and openly in the pursuit of sincerity. It’s rare to find people like her, and I’m glad that I have.