Every now and then there’s an incredible day that makes you laugh and delight and fall in love with life even more. Today was one of those days.
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Nice wee confidence boost getting an A back on an essay from a class which I’m being examined on tomorrow. I still am not entirely convinced that I know anything, maybe I just write in a way that makes it sound like I do. I’m going to really miss doing this paper. It’s been incredibly enlightening and relevant and thought provoking. This is why I went back to university, to learn stuff like this that makes me want to learn more stuff and feel like I’m engaging with the world around me. That feeling of being connected to your environment, of being shaken awake by ideas, that is the good shit. I want my life to always have this good shit in it.
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Idleness at work has to be the most demotivating thing. But you can’t be overwhelmed with work either. There needs to be the perfect balance struck of not too much work, but just enough to get you going on the perfect productivity pace.
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Heard back today about my role review – they’re going to increase my pay 🙂 It’s not as much as I think I would get in the market but at the same time, I think it shows an acknowledgement of my work so far and while I’m still part time, I’m happy with it. Feels like this just goes to show that it pays (literally) to ask for what you deserve. How many people go through months and years in their jobs without a fair wage? Maybe some organisations pay fairly. Maybe some people have other parts of their job which compensate them in other ways. Maybe some people are just content with their remuneration and maybe that’s okay… but maybe it’s not. Maybe a lot of them are women who are used to subpar treatment, used to staying quiet and keeping the peace.
I’m really glad I said something. This was my first conversation of this type and it was a valuable one.
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How can any information extracted through interrogation be used as truth?!
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The feeling after having done an exam is so so satisfying!
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Good friends are like an external brain. They help you process stuff.
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Relationships are hard. I can only speculate what O is thinking, feeling, based on his words and actions. But how do I know if it’s true? How do I know if my speculations are on the defence or the offence? What is real?
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I wish I had something interesting to say but it’s just more wallowing in how much I don’t know about Romantic Literature and trying to make myself do more study.
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SO MUCH STUDY TO DO AHHH