I keep thinking about how I’m almost at 365 posts and how bittersweet that is. I’ve posted every single day for a whole year and that feels pretty amazing to me. At the same time, it takes me full circle, back to where this all began, back to me nursing a broken heart in the only way I knew how – through words and tears. I’m not that girl crying in a cafe anymore, but I remember all too well what that was like, those painful memories are still familiar and very much alive when I think of them.
362 days ago I couldn’t have imagined I would be here though – finding love in someone else, having the time of my life with my best friends. So much can change in a year and I didn’t know that, wouldn’t have believed it if someone told me this is how my year would have played out.
When my reminder came up on my phone to write a post for today, I started thinking about how great it is that I’ve maintained this for 156 days. One hundred and fifty six. I thought about those first posts and where I was then, how wrecked I felt, with nothing left to be destroyed. And now, 156 days later, I’ve built new foundations from the rubble and each day I get higher and further away from the bits and pieces of the devastation.
In the last 156 days I’ve found happiness again, and learned to value both the exciting and mundane in life. I started dating someone new who cares about me, and who I really care about and makes me feel giddy like a teenager. Most of all, I have deepened friendships with my closest lady friends and that’s the most beautiful thing to come from this. They helped me put my heart back together.