Two Two Two

I’m thinking about how this time last year, I was excited to meet J for the first time. We had matched on Bumble and our conversation was so promising about the connection we could, and did, have. I remember feeling so giddy and nervous about having coffee with him, knowing already that there was a good chance we would be a good fit. I was right. And then I was wrong. We were good. And then we were not good.

I’m thinking about how happy I am with O, the way he makes me laugh, how smooth his chest felt against my cheek this morning. I’m thinking about how different O and J are, and how different our relationships are. It’s not that I’m happier now with O, than I was with J, or vice versa. The two just can’t be compared. They’re so different. There is something to be said about commitment and how that is romantic in itself. When someone wants to be with you, cares about what you want and listens to what you have to say – that is something really special. That makes me feel giddy about my relationship with O. I feel heard with him. I feel him try be a good boyfriend. I feel his commitment to us and our relationship.